


The End of the Line

by KurtsAnatomy



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Extended Scene, F/M, M/M, Male Friendship, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 17:04:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KurtsAnatomy/pseuds/KurtsAnatomy
Summary: “It’s gonna be okay, Buck.”Those are not the words Bucky wants to hear from Steve Rogers right at this moment. He wants to hear just about anything else: a change of mind, a declaration of love, anything but a confirmation of what Bucky already knows.He’s never going to see Steve Rogers again.





	The End of the Line

“Don’t do anything stupid til I get back,” Steve smiles pointedly. 

Bucky’s heart pangs in his chest, crying out. His voice wobbles on his rehearsed reply. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” He remembers that particular interaction clear as day, and now it hurts more than he can bear.

“Gonna miss you, buddy.” 

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.” 

Those are not the words Bucky wants to hear from Steve Rogers right at this moment. He wants to hear just about anything else: a change of mind, a declaration of love, anything but a confirmation of what Bucky already knows. 

He’s never going to see Steve Rogers again. 

He had seen the idea forming in Steve’s head after the funeral. Bucky had offered to stand with him, but Steve had needed time and space to grieve for Tony, he had needed a moment alone to deal with what he had lost. 

Bucky had only met the man a handful of times, and most of those had involved Winter Soldier trying to murder him, or the other way around. Bucky had apologised to Tony a number of times since regaining his memories and most of his composure, and Tony had accepted, saying that he would probably never trust Bucky fully, but he had understand the nature of his crimes and his disassociation with the actions he carried out. Bucky had expected and appreciated such a reaction. From the stories Steve had told him, Tony was growing as a person. 

It had still been difficult to see the man die. Especially with the reactions of the people around him that knew him better. Parker had been beside himself. Clint had been furious. The blonde in the iron suit who Bucky guessed was Pepper had been surprisingly calm considering the circumstances. Everyone else had taken a moment to themselves, reminiscing on their moments with Tony Stark and the part he had played in their lives. 

After Pepper had left the tribute arc reactor floating on the water, Steve had fled the scene. Bucky’s Steve-related tendencies had caused him to follow, lingering on the precipice in case Steve needed him. He had heard Steve crying, muttering something about “everyone I love dies”. 

Bucky had never really thought about how hard it must have been for Steve to watch him die and presume that he had been killed after his fall from the train. Throughout Bucky’s stint as the Winter Soldier, there had been minimal pockets of time where he would see something connected to Steve and _remember_ , just for a second part of the feeling that came with it. Then his programming would kick in once more and the feelings would be gone with the wind. 

He also realised that Steve had also lost Natasha, who Bucky realised he knew from his time in Russia. He could not remember much, so his grief was minimal, but Steve hadn’t let himself think about her until the mission was time, in classic Steve fashion. The guttural sobs that had ripped from Steve’s throat had hurt Bucky in such a raw way that he hadn’t experienced since they were teenagers in Brooklyn and Steve was having a particularly bad spell of health. 

_“I don’t know if I can hold out, Buck.”_

That had come shortly following the death of Sarah Rogers, when Steve’s physical and mental healths were competing to see who could deteriorate the fastest. Physical health won because of Bucky, who was always there to be whatever Steve needed. He had cried for weeks, weeping so openly in a way that Bucky had never seen a man do until that moment. 

He hadn’t really understood Steve’s relationship with Natasha, only knew that they were very close and had become closer in the time that Bucky was…away. 

That’s what he calls it… _going away_ …because the truth is he has no idea what the fuck happened to them after the battle in Wakanda. Bucky remembers calling Steve’s name, then feeling a heavy weight ripping through his organs, then suddenly it’s five years later and he’s readying himself to step out onto the battlefield next to the adolescent tree-thing. 

When Steve had cried for Tony and Natasha, Bucky had knocked on the door, wondering if Steve needed anything. Steve had said nothing, so Bucky inched open the door and poked his head in. What he saw confirmed everything. 

Steve was holding open his pocket-watch, the one that Bucky had seen in those videos of Captain America during his first reign of triumph in the war. 

The pocket watch that housed a picture of Margaret Carter. 

Peggy had always been a source of confusion for Bucky. He knew that Steve cared about her, but he had died before their relationship truly blossomed. He knew from some of Steve’s stories and the history journals he had managed to unearth that the two were in love, which was nothing short of a dagger in the heart. 

It was no secret to anyone who knew them that Bucky Barnes was ridiculously, pathetically in love with Steven Rogers. Apart from Steve himself, who was so romantically oblivious that Bucky thought it was a miracle that he even knew Peggy was interested in him too. Bucky had tried many times to tell him, back before the war, but no time had ever been right. 

And this time right here was the worst time, so Bucky had settled for the next best thing. 

_“Gonna miss you, buddy_.” 

So maybe Bucky had still been processing the idea of never seeing Steve again. 

Once he had clocked the pocket watch, the cogs in his mind started to turn. And when Steve had volunteered himself to embark on a solo mission to return those damn stones, Bucky had known what was going to happen.

Bucky forces himself to watch as Steve readies himself on the platform and it is way too much for Bucky to comprehend. _Time travel? Multiple timelines? And just where had Steve gotten that magic hammer from?_

As he looks at Sam, and then at whatever the big green guy was being called these days, Bucky knows that neither of them know what’s about to happen. 

“How long is this gonna take?” Sam asks coolly. 

Bucky winces. _The rest of his life_ , he thinks to himself, his inner tone bitter and full of loathing. 

But then he realises it’s just his petty jealousy talking. His love for Steve outshines both of those things and he knows that Steve deserves his lifetime of peace and happiness with the love of his life. And just because that isn’t him, doesn’t mean that Bucky isn’t happy for him. 

Just deep, deep down inside himself. 

Steve, who has given up so much for everyone but himself, deserves something that’s going to make him happy and fulfil the life that he’s always wanted, ever since they had been pesky children running around Brooklyn together. Steve had always imagined himself settling down with some dame and starting a family and all of that wholesome picket-fence nonsense that Bucky had never had the chance to subscribe to. 

Banner fidgets with the machine that Bucky doesn’t even want to go near, and smiles at Sam confidently. “For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds.” 

Bucky holds himself together this time. 

_As long as he needs._

How about a lifetime, Bruce Banner? Do you know that’s what you’re giving him? 

Bucky knows that Steve knows that Bucky knows about his plan, he can see it in his eye, the way that Steve’s gaze doesn’t leave Bucky’s. There’s an unspoken goodbye lingering in his sad smile. His grip tightens around the hammer and he readies his shield, as he always had done for battles. 

Bucky thinks that maybe he has the harder battle, that Steve has taken the easier option for a change, which brings Bucky a semblance of what he thinks is relief. 

Steve had always fought for everyone but himself. Sure, he would defend him as best he could from the bullies, but Steve always went after them in defence of someone else. And then Bucky would clean up his mess to protect Steve. That was the way it always worked, so Bucky was somewhat pleased to learn that Steve had finally decided to do what was best for himself. 

Even if that meant leaving him behind. 

“Ready, Cap? Alright. We’ll meet you back here, okay?” 

_No, Banner,_ Bucky thinks. _No, we won’t._

“You bet,” Steve replies, his eyes still on Bucky’s. 

Bucky sighs, and his last thought for Steve is something he hopes gets translated in his gaze. 

_I’ve always loved you. I hope you get the life you always wanted._

“Going quantum…three…two…one!” 

Steve plasters a smile on his face, eyes swimming with all the things he’s never said. 

Bucky stares in disbelief as the last remnant of doubt flickers away like blowing out a candle, quick and painless. Steve zips into the portal, sucked away into something Bucky’s brain doesn’t have the capacity to describe. An alternate reality? A past version of the same reality that becomes a different reality once it’s been altered? Bucky doesn’t know for sure, he’s only picked up on the slightest words and phrases from Banner. 

Banner’s voice alarms him. He hadn’t expected any more activity. 

“And returning in five. Four. Three. Two. One.” 

Bucky shakes his head. _Steve isn’t coming back_. 

He knows he’ll never be strong enough to say those words aloud, but maybe he doesn’t need to. 

“Where is he?” Sam’s sharp question blows right by Bucky. He sticks his hands in his pockets and turns to the vast lake that lies beyond the tree line. 

Because he’s lived a world without Steve Rogers before and those had been the worst days of his life. Every good moment he’s ever had has been with Steve. When Steve had rescued him in Germany, Bucky had never been so relieved. He thought he would maybe think about coming home to Steve after the war, where Steve would have probably found a dame to settle down with. Or maybe he’d be dead, succumbed to his illness, or jailed trying to forge his way into the war. 

Not a foot taller with the ability to carry Bucky in one hand. 

But none of that matters now because Steve is gone. And he hadn’t been killed in action, or assassinated, or any of those things. He had chosen to live the life he always wanted, and that’s more than anyone expected of little Steve Rogers. 

“I don’t know, he blew right by his time stamp. He should be here.” 

Bucky chuckles lightly, so the others don’t hear him. _He should be here_. 

“Well, get him back.” He knows that Sam won’t understand, at least at first. Only Bucky understands what it’s like to be a man out of time, to be stranded somewhere you never expected to make it to in the first place. Without everyone you once knew, without initiative. 

“I’m trying,” Banner mutters softly. 

“Get him the hell back!” 

“Hey, I said, I’m trying!” 

Turning away from the pointless bickering, that’s when he sees it. 

A figure, perched on a rock in front of the lake, staring out into its vast depths. 

Taking a quick look back at Sam and Banner, who are poking at different buttons and levers trying to bring back a lost cause, Bucky creeps into the shadows like he had done for decades, and walks slowly towards something he never thought would happen, but has never been so welcome. 

“Stevie?” 

He doesn’t turn. 

Even though he’s facing away, Bucky can tell he’s smiling.

Bucky creeps forward, silently sitting on the rock next to the man he doesn’t recognise, but knows is the man he loves. 

“So you did it,” Bucky mutters, looking at Steve’s hands, noticing the solid gold band wrapped around his left ring finger. His jaw tightens a little. 

Steve nods. “I had a feeling you knew what I was doing.” 

“I’ve known you almost as long as you’ve known yourself. I saw you looking at her picture and it clicked into place. I wasn’t sure how exactly you were going to do it, but I knew that was your plan.” 

Steve pats Bucky’s knee, the way an old friend would. He supposes that, to Steve, they are just that. Old friends that haven’t seen each other for decades. 

“Was it worth it?” As that spills out of Bucky’s mouth, he knows that’s the selfish question to ask. _Was settling down with a woman you loved decades ago worth leaving everyone you love now behind?_ Bucky felt bad even insinuating that Steve had done something truly malicious. 

Steve softens even more, his wrinkles looking out of place on a man who had never had a pimple a day in his life. “I know you’re very angry with me, Buck. But I took a chance on something I never got the chance to have.”

Bucky sighs, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. “I’m sorry, I’m not angry with you. You deserved that beautiful life more than anyone else. You had everything ripped away from you and all your decisions made for you for so long, it’s about time you decided your life for yourself.” 

Steve turns to Bucky, tears of joy glistening in his eyes. “Thank you, Bucky. I had a wonderful life, one that I never thought I would ever have. You were there, you know.” 

Bucky almost smiles. “No Hydra?”

Steve shakes his head proudly. “No Hydra. After the war was won, we went back to Brooklyn.”

Bucky could hear the unfinished story. 

_Peggy and Steve move in together, it’s not long before they’re married with two beautiful, blonde-haired girls and a small dog that runs in between their legs._

_Bucky moves back in with his family to take care of his sisters. He works, settles down with someone who decidedly isn’t Steve, and lives a banal life. Maybe he’s even godfather to one of Steve and Peggy’s daughters. He doesn’t have a dog, or the life he wanted with Steve._

“Get out of your head, Bucky,” Steve murmurs. “Dwelling on a ‘what if’ is dangerous. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, free of manipulation. You can do whatever you want.” 

Bucky lets the tears collect in his eyes, reflecting the sun. “But you won’t be there.” 

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” 

Bucky supposes that’s true, that he was wrong before. _This_ is the last time he’ll ever see Steve Rogers. 

And Steve Rogers needs to know one thing. 

“I always loved you.” 

It’s as though Steve can hear Bucky’s heart cracking into pieces. Steve squeezes his knee and sighs. 

“I know. I did too. Things always got in the way of us.”

Bucky swallows the sob that wants to explode from within his soul. “I need you to know that I’m happy you got to love her for as long as you did. Peggy is a wonderful woman.” 

“Bucky…”

“I just…need you to know that. I didn’t expect to ever see you again and that was two minutes ago, in my time. It’s all been confusing.” 

Steve wheezes out a laugh, his discomfort and unease the signs of a life well-lived. “If you told those two punks in Brooklyn that time travel would be possible, I don’t think they’d have believed us.” 

Bucky eyes him quizzically. “Did you tell Peggy?” 

“I thought about it,” Steve mumbles. “I knew if anyone would accept it, it would be her. But I wanted a life without all of that. We still had S.H.I.E.L.D., but the Avengers were never formed. We never needed them.” 

“I need you,” Bucky finds himself whispering, not even expecting Steve to hear him. 

“You never did. I always needed _you_. Why do you think I chose to come back here?’ 

Bucky shrugs. 

“If I was going to get one last goodbye, it had to be you, Buck. You’re the only one who knew her, who might have understood why.” 

“I do,” Bucky smiles wistfully. He looked down and sees a zipped bag, something that resembles what an artist would have. At its shape, Bucky knows what’s in there. “You still take that everywhere huh?” 

Steve chuckles. “You want it?” 

Bucky runs his hand over the bag. “I don’t think I could hold it without thinking about you. And how many people are going to accept former Hydra assassin Bucky Barnes as Captain America’s successor.”

“I thought I’d ask. I have to know it’s in good hands.” 

Bucky smiles. “Sam.”

He nods. “That just might work, yes.” 

The wind blows a soft breeze over the two of them in their final moments together. Bucky doesn’t even know where to begin. 

“I’ve never been Bucky Barnes in a world without Steve Rogers.” 

Steve grabs Bucky’s hand and Bucky can feel the ageing callouses that run along Steve’s skin and it brings him comfort to know that Steve truly has _lived_. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck,” Steve replies, echoing his words from before the time travel. 

“I’m going to miss you every day.” 

Steve grins, a tear staining his cheek. “I’m with you till the end of the line.” 

“Barnes?” Sam’s voice shouts over the serene moment and Bucky wants to punch him square in the face. Bucky turns to Steve. He leans in and kisses Steve’s cheek softly. 

“Till the end of the line,” Bucky echoes, blinking his tears away. 

And as he walks past Sam and Banner without a word, they let him pass as he shoves his hands into his pockets, flicks his hair from his eyes, and wonders what a world without Steve Rogers is actually like. 

He doesn’t look back, that only makes it harder to leave. 

He looks around him, wondering who he’s even got in the world. Sam isn’t enough his friend to base his decisions on. The only people would would even understand are Steve and Natasha, both unable to help him at this moment in his life. 

He stares at the path ahead of him, knowing that wherever he goes, he’ll be alone. 


End file.
